You love to think. And you're good at it.
But remember that time you were busy analyzing every possible outcome, weighing the pros and cons, and considering what could go wrong? Meanwhile, your buddy took a leap of faith and somehow landed on his feet.
And you're still thinking about how he pulled that off.
That's the funny thing about being a Deep Thinker. Your ability to see possibilities, connect ideas, and anticipate problems is a genuine strength. But sometimes your mind gets so busy figuring everything out that you miss what's happening right in front of you.
That's where mindfulness comes in. Not to make you think less, but to help you recognize when thinking is serving you and when it's taking you away from what’s in front of you.
I know from experience, getting caught up in my thoughts is easy!
I sometimes have trouble following a recipe because I'm mentally planning tomorrow while I'm cooking dinner. In the podcast, Kim mentioned reading the same sentence two or three times because her mind was somewhere else. Sound familiar?
And sometimes it happens when we're listening to someone. A Deep Thinker may be so busy figuring out how to solve the other person's problem that they miss half of what is being said. They're trying to help, but they're not really listening.
You can be physically present and mentally somewhere else. And the people who love you can usually tell.
What Is Mindfulness, Really?
Mindfulness is paying attention to what's happening right now, with curiosity rather than judgment. It means noticing your thoughts, emotions, and surroundings without automatically getting swept away from the present moment.
But here's something important: Mindfulness doesn't mean you have to stop thinking. It means recognizing when your attention has wandered and intentionally bringing it back.
And for a Deep Thinker, that's a valuable skill. You don't want to lose your ability to think deeply. You just want to be able to choose what you think about and stay connected to the life you're living right now.
Is Mindfulness the Same as Meditation?
This is where a lot of people get stuck. They hear "mindfulness" and picture sitting cross-legged trying to empty their mind. Maybe they tried it, their mind wouldn't be quiet, and they decided it wasn’t for them.
Meditation is a formal practice. Mindfulness can be part of meditation (you have to be mindful to meditate), but they're two very different things. Mindfulness is something you can do anytime, anywhere: in the car, in a meeting, while you cook, or at the dinner table.
It's also about awareness: self-awareness, being aware of others, and situational awareness. This is good for the brain that loves to think! Your mind is still engaged. Mindfulness helps you notice what you're thinking about and choose whether that's where your attention belongs right now.
If Deep Thinkers Are Already So Aware, Why Do They Need Mindfulness?
Kim asked me this, and it's a fair question.
Many deep thinkers are very aware people. But awareness and mindfulness are different skills.
Awareness can be passive. You might notice all sorts of details, problems, and possibilities without realizing how much of your attention they're consuming. Mindfulness takes that a step further. You recognize what has captured your attention and intentionally decide whether to stay with it. Mindfulness is thinking about your thinking.
Here's a small example from my own house. I walk into a room to get one thing, and the room is a mess, even though I asked for it to be picked up. My mind wants to go straight to how irritated I am. Being mindful means I notice that, keep my attention on what I came in for, get it, and walk back out. The irritation can wait.
That's mindfulness: staying with the thing in front of you, rather than letting every detail you notice pull you somewhere else.
What Does It Look Like to Notice Without Judging?
Say you're driving and you see new apartments going up. Your mind immediately jumps to how crowded the grocery store is going to be, and how they clearly haven't thought through the parking. Now you're irritated about something that hasn't happened yet.
Our brains have a natural negativity bias, which means we're often quicker to notice potential problems than positive possibilities. Being mindful sounds more like, "Look, honey, they're building more apartments. I wonder how many there'll be." You're still noticing. You can even talk about what might go sideways. If there's a sign for a road closure, mindfulness is what helps you catch the date and plan a different route.
Mindfulness isn't false positivity. It's accuracy. You notice what's actually in front of you, then choose what deserves your attention and what's helpful.
When we jump to judgment, we can get caught up in our assumptions and miss what's actually happening. Curiosity gives us a chance to see things differently and enjoy more of what's right in front of us.
What's Happening in Your Brain When Your Mind Wanders?
Your brain works a bit like a team, and a few players matter here.
When you aren't directing your attention, your brain's default mode network (DMN) tends to take over. It's the network that's active when your mind drifts. Where does it usually go? Often to reflecting on yourself, rehashing an old conversation, replaying what just happened at work, or worrying about the speech you have to give next week.
I want to be fair to the DMN, because it isn't a villain. A lot of a deep thinker's insight happens there, sometimes as they're falling asleep, when the brain quietly puts things together that other people miss. The trouble starts when it runs the show and you don't notice.
That's where decentering comes in. I taught this for years before I knew it had a name. Decentering means stepping outside yourself, almost like looking in at your own mind, and noticing, "What am I thinking, and where is it taking me?" When you recognize that your thoughts aren't necessarily facts, you can step back, examine them, and decide how to respond.
It’s hard to remember that our thoughts are not facts. They're products of our brain, and one of our remarkable abilities as humans is that we can learn to examine them objectively.
How Does Your Brain Learn to Catch Itself?
Mindfulness won't turn off your autopilot. Thoughts are still going to pop into your head. Your brain’s salience network could be called a ‘notice switchboard.’ It helps you notice what is important and helps your brain shift its attention to what you prioritize.
You're teaching that switchboard to tap you on the shoulder and say, "Hey, look where you just wandered off to." Then the part of your brain that directs attention can step in and say, "Life is happening right now. Let's come back."
Here's the encouraging part. Your brain is a pattern machine. The more often you feel the tap and respond to it, the easier it becomes to notice the tap. It may be tapping right now while you ignore it. Responding is the practice.
The same goes for emotions. Kim gave the example of a friend who doesn't text back, and the brain jumping to "she's probably mad at me." (I actually got an "Are you mad at me?" text recently.) Stepping back to look at that thought before you send anything is emotional regulation, and it gives you a lot more flexibility in how you respond. Kim called it thinking before you speak, which I'm pretty sure my mother said to me a lot. I am a mom, so I've probably said it too.
And when your mind is spinning too fast to do any of this, try heart-focused breathing first. Breathe a little slower and a little deeper than usual, with your attention on the area of your heart. It can help you recenter, if you let it.
Will Mindfulness Make Life Boring?
Kim made a point with her question and it made me laugh! “Am I supposed to stare intently at the carrot I'm chopping?”
It might be a good idea, so you don’t cut your finger! But I get her point. To a lot of people, slowing down feels like wasting time. Moving fast helps get things done. But in my experience, mindfulness brings more life to living. When you're fully there for it, everyday moments stop feeling like a background blur. They start having texture, color and real meaning.
Kim and I took a trip to Leavenworth to see the fall colors, and it was mindful from start to finish. The whole reason we went was to experience it. The leaves were changing, orange next to green next to yellow next to red, and the rivers were beautiful. We stopped to look at the river and the mountains. There were schools of fish right under the water, and they weren't little — they were big old fish. Slowing down long enough to notice the fish — that's living mindfully. When you think about it that way, you appreciate life even more.
Your Practice
How Can You Practice Mindfulness in Everyday Life?
You don't need to set aside special time to practice mindfulness. You can start right in the middle of your day, whenever you catch your mind wandering.
Here's a simple three-step practice:
1. NOTICE: Where has your mind gone? Are you replaying yesterday's conversation, worrying about tomorrow, or second-guessing a decision you've already made?
2. NAME: What's keeping your attention there? Is it uncertainty, fear of making a mistake, or the feeling that you need just a little more information?
3. RETURN: Is there something useful you can do about it? If so, decide on your next step. Write it down if you need to. Then bring your attention back to what you're doing right now.
You can practice this during conversations, while working, or even when doing chores.
Bringing your attention back to where it belongs is a brain practice you can strengthen.
Mindfulness Reflection Worksheet
Ready to Go Deeper?
The UNAFRAID course gives you practical, brain-based tools to recognize when your attention has wandered and bring it back to what matters. You'll also learn to understand your thinking patterns, manage difficult emotions, and build greater confidence and resilience.
👉 Take UNAFRAID, the full course ($197), or start with the first two modules for $37 at unafraidcourse.com
Start with The Hidden Fear Profile Quiz — it shows you which fear pattern is running the show:
unafraidliving.com/quiz
Explore the Deep Thinker Series:
🔗 Episode 30: Why Overthinking Feels Like Getting Closer to an Answer (The Brain Science of the Deep Thinker) — https://www.unafraidliving.com/podcast-blog/why-overthinking-feels-like-getting-closer-to-an-answer
Coming next: faith, and how a deep thinker can move forward without knowing everything ahead.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is paying attention to what's happening right now, with curiosity instead of judgment. It includes noticing your thoughts, emotions and surroundings, and gently bringing your attention back when it wanders. You can still plan and solve problems while you practice it. The skill is noticing where your attention went and choosing where it goes next.
Is mindfulness the same as meditation?
They're two different things. Meditation is a formal practice, and mindfulness is part of it, since you have to be mindful to meditate. Mindfulness, though, is something you can practice anytime and anywhere: while you drive, cook, eat, work or talk with someone. Your mind doesn't have to be quiet for it to count.
Why does my mind wander so much?
When you aren't directing your attention, your brain's default mode network tends to take over. That's the network active when your mind drifts, often to replaying conversations, reflecting on yourself or worrying about what's next. It's also where a lot of insight comes from. Mindfulness helps you notice when it's running the show so you can choose whether to stay there.
What is decentering?
Decentering is stepping back and looking at your own thoughts, almost as if you were outside yourself looking in. You notice, "What am I thinking, and where is it taking me?" Seeing thoughts as mental events instead of facts makes it easier to examine them rather than be carried along by them.
How do I practice mindfulness if my mind won't be quiet?
You don't need a quiet mind. Catch the pattern (replaying, predicting or second-guessing), name what's driving it, and ask whether there's a step you could take. If there is, write it on your calendar or to-do list. Then ask yourself, "Where am I right now?" and return to what you were doing. In my experience coaching, repeating that small loop is what makes it easier over time.
Can mindfulness change your brain?
Repeated practice can strengthen the pathways involved in noticing and redirecting your attention, which is one reason it tends to feel more natural over time. Your brain is a pattern machine, and the more you respond to that "tap on the shoulder," the easier the tap becomes to notice.
