How Honesty Affects Your Brain (And Why Self-Honesty Is the First Step to Living Unafraid)
Have you ever told a small lie — even just "I'm fine" when you weren't, or a little white lie to save face or protect someone? But lies can come with a tight, uncomfortable feeling in your chest or stomach - because we know we’re being dishonest. That feeling isn’t in your imagination. That’s your brain and body signaling stress. Even small moments of dishonesty create tension inside us, and over time, that tension chips away at our peace, our confidence, and our mental clarity.
In Episode 3 of the Unafraid Living podcast I, Suzette, and Kim dig into one of the most foundational virtues in the brain health conversation: honesty. Not just honesty with others, but the kind that starts on the inside — with yourself.
What Does Honesty Actually Mean?
Most of us think of honesty as simply telling the truth. But we take it a step further because real honesty runs deep.
To be honest is to express truth in a way that's kind, clear, and aligned with your values. It isn't about being blunt or cruel. It's about being real with others, and it starts by being real with yourself.
So the best place to practice that? With yourself!
When was the last time you looked in the mirror — metaphorically or literally — and asked, "What's really going on with me?" It can feel uncomfortable and make you squirm. It might even be a little scary. But when we tell ourselves the truth, even when it's messy, we free up enormous amounts of mental and emotional energy.
How Dishonesty Affects Your Brain
Here's where the neuroscience gets interesting. When you're being dishonest — even in small, everyday ways — your brain feels the strain.
The prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain responsible for clear thinking and good decision-making, actually quiets down. Meanwhile, the amygdala, your brain's fear and stress center, lights up. That creates anxiety, guilt, and what I calls mental chaos.
Over time, that mental chaos erodes self-trust. And when you lose trust in yourself, the effects ripple outward: overthinking, poor sleep, stress, and even physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches.
You might not consciously connect these symptoms to dishonesty. But your brain IS keeping score.
Why Self-Honesty Comes First
A powerful point in Episode 3: if you can talk to yourself more honestly, you can talk to others more honestly. And on the flip side, when you're not honest with yourself, it leads to dishonesty in general.
Self-honesty isn't about perfection or harsh self-criticism. It's about awareness — catching those moments when someone genuinely asks how you are and you say "I'm fine" but you're not, or when you keep pushing down a feeling instead of acknowledging it. That moment of awareness, when you notice and gently correct course, actually reactivates the prefrontal cortex in the right direction. Your brain starts working for you again instead of against you.
And here's the reward: when we choose self-honesty, our brains release feel-good chemicals — dopamine and oxytocin — that calm stress, and strengthen self-trust.
How to Start Becoming More Honest With Yourself
This doesn't have to be a dramatic overhaul. Just start small:
Try this at the end of the day: Take just 60 seconds and note if there was a time that you weren’t 100% honest with yourself. If you feel like you were 100% honest with yourself today, reflect on the day and note who you may not have been honest with.
No shame, no guilt. Just curiosity. Awareness is the first step in rewiring your brain.
From there, you might want to consider what triggered the dishonesty.
Then, tomorrow, try practicing honesty even when you feel like dishonesty would be easier.
Journaling is a great entry point — it's often easier to write the truth before you can say it out loud. Speaking truth to yourself out loud and in quiet moments of life can help you feel grounded in truth.
Small moments of self-honesty build the emotional freedom that changes everything.
What Honesty Builds Over Time
When your words, actions, and values all line up, your brain can finally rest. You stop overthinking. You sleep better. You start to like yourself more — and that's no small thing!
Keep telling the truth with kindness and with courage, because that's how confidence grows and freedom starts.
This is what the Unafraid Living podcast is all about — not just teaching concepts, but giving you practical, brain-based tools to live with less fear and more peace.
Ready to Go Deeper?
If this resonated with you, the UNAFRAID course was built exactly for this kind of work. In the course, you'll get the tools to retrain your brain — from fear and self-doubt into resilience and confidence — one small shift at a time. And just an aside, did you know that dishonesty is rooted in fear? yep!
👉 Join the waitlist for our next cohort at unafraidcourse.com
Listen to the Full Episode
🎧 Episode 3: The Virtue Effect on the Brain — Honesty Available wherever you listen to podcasts.
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